The Cranberries, International Relations and Justice

So I was listening to "Animal Instinct" from The Cranberries and suddenly it struck me: where is my animal instinct? Do I have one?

In order to get to the answer, I have to recap some of the things that have happened to me recently.

I have been walking over London looking out for a job. It works like this: I wake up, I go to an off license shop, I print and copy a lot of CVs and then I hit the streets. I get on the tube, reach any place I think might have any opportunity for me and wander around, always with eyes wide open for any "staff required" sign. What am I looking for? It's not just any job. If I've learnt any lesson from my previous job - where I worked from 50 to 60 hours per week and where people had no time to go out - is that I'm fighting against this system. I'm looking for a place where employers and employees work together and respect hierarchy, yet both know they are humans and can learn from each other. I'm looking for people who don't equate what you do for living with what you do while you live, people that take their time every now and then, people that can appreciate a sunset. I'm looking for a place where being kind doesn't mean being weak.

Am I asking for too much? And the more you walk, with the wind blowing in your face, bringing no answers, but more questions and doubts, the more you see that the opposite places and people are out there, reading, writing, teaching their children, producing, consuming, affecting you somehow. Consequently you wonder: where do I fit? Where am I suitable? and you also realize how many people have to work just to make some money and survive, having no time to think about themselves and their wellbeing. It's also dawn to you the fact that we are, in general, so demanding - scrutinizing people, what they do and why, what they wear and why - and that we are so many. We are a mass of people, driven by market forces, where everyone has to be different and super-ultra-good in something very specific, and by doing so we end up being all the same. We criticise, but we are the ones who demand, who want everything always better, faster, stronger, cleaner, taller, smaller, etc, usually not doing ours best so as to deserve it.

So finally there is the animal instinct; it's fueling people's everyday lives, waking them up and leading their decisions. I know I'm now entering a political field, the old discussion involving the state of nature and law, but it's almost impossible for someone who studies International Relations and has always been very curious to keep it out of his/her thoughts.

Anyway, I realized I may have animal instincts deep inside me, hidden somewhere, maybe blocked, but what I do have and I'm most proud of is my human instinct. It's not about greed, safety, cheating, advantages or efficiency. It's about self-conciousness, happiness, sense of humour and justice.

I'm fighting for justice and this is my manifest. I know I'm not the only one and I do know the world is going to bring me down several times, but I won't give up. My human instinct may be not natural, it's likely to have been constructed by my family, my education and the things I have seen or simply by my ingenuity. But it doesn't matter. My mind will always be a resort to my ideas, my body will lead the way to actions and words, and if everything I have now is solid and consistent, it's because I've followed my heart.